Sunset Boulevard

I only wish I could help. I loaned it to my accountantHe has an important client down in Palm Springs Felt like shooting the breeze

It's about a rookie shortstop. He's batting .347The kid was once mixed up in a holdup. Now he's trying to go straight

Here's that "Based Loaded" material, Mr. Sheldrake. I made a two-page synopsis for you, but I wouldn't bother to read it

Schaefer, Betty Schaefer. And right now, I'd like to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me

I see you're one of the message kids. I expect you'll have turned down "Gone with the wind"

And I guess I was disappointed. I've read some of your other works And I thought you had some real talent

Thank you, Miss Kramer. Well, looks like Zanuck's got himself a baseball picture.

You've got to give me some work, I'll take whatever's on offer. There must be some shit that needs a rewrite, throw it my way

I only wish I could help, there's no spare shit at the moment. Remember the greatest writers starved in Garrets, didn't care about pay

Come to get your knife back? It's still there, right between my shoulder blades.

He's working on 'Samson and Delilah'. They're doing a red-hot scene with Hedy Lamarr. You want to stay and watch?

What a lovely sight! At the end of the driveway: A great big empty garage. This thing must burn up 10 gallons to a mile.

Look, lady, you've got the wrong man. I have some trouble with my car, I just pulled into your driveway.

Come over here, I want to ask you something. Just what sort of length is a movie script these days?

I said sit down! It's about Salome. Salome: the story of a woman. The woman who was all women.

Me? Gee, I don't know, I'm busy. I just finished one script and I'm about to start a new assignment.

There was a Maharajah who hanged himself with one of her discarded stockings.

(V.O.)When he'd gone, I stood looking out the window for a while. There was the ghost of a tennis court with faded marking and a sagging net. There was an empty pool where Clara Bow and Fatty Arbuckle must have swum 10,000 midnights ago. And then there was something else; The chimp's last rites, as if she were laying a child to rest. Was her life really as empty as that?

Oh, I'm not good enough to do it on my own. But I thought we could write it together.

Couldn't we work evening? Six o'clock in the morning? I'd come to your place.

Look, Betty, it can't be done, it's out. Let's keep in touch through Artie. That way if you get stuck, we can at least talk.


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Joe I guess it was five A.M. A homicide had been reported From one of those crazy mansions up on sunset Tomorrow every front page is going to lead with this story You see an old time movie star is involved, Maybe the biggest star of all But before you read about it, before it gets distorted By those Hollywood piranhas, If you wanna know the real facts, You've come to the right party. Joe Let me take you back six months, I was at the bottom of the barrel I'd had a contract down at Fox, but I'd fallen foul of Darryl Now I had a date at Paramount, Along with about a thousand other writers If it didn't come up roses, I'd be covering funerals Back in Dayton, Ohio, I'd hidden my car three blocks away Turned out to be a smart move. 2-Let's Have Lunch Joe Hi there, Myrion Myron How's it hanging? Joe I've got a date with Sheldrake Myron I'm shooting a western down at Fox Joe How can you work with Darryl? Myron We should talk Joe Gotta run Both Let's have lunch Mary Hi, Mr. Gillis Joe You look great Mary I'm up for an audition Joe Sheldrake is driving me insane Mary Don't forget me when you're casting Joe We should talk Mary Gotta run Both Let's have lunch Joe Morning, Joanna Mary Hi there, Myrion Joanna Who are you meeting Myron You look great Joe Sheldrake, but do I need it? Mary I've spent the last month fasting Joanna I'm handing in my second draft Myron I'm shooting a western down at Fox Joe I'd really love to read it Mary Don't forget me when you're casting Joanna We should talk Myron We should talk Joe Gotta run Mary Gotta run Both Both Let's have lunch Let's have lunch Joe Yeh, I have an appoinment with Mr. Sheldrake Jones Name? Joe Gillis, Joseph Gillis Jones All right, sir, you know your way? Joe Yeah Ist Fin. We want the key to your car 2nd Fin. You're way behind the payments 1st Fin Don't give us any fancy footwork.... 2nd Fin. Give us the keys Joe I only wish I could help. I loaned it to my accountantHe has an important client down in Palm Springs Felt like shooting the breeze 1st Fin. Are you telling us you walked here? Joe I believe in self-denial, I'm in training for the priesthood 2nd Fin. Okay wise guy, three hundred bucks 1st Fin. Or we're taking the car 2nd Fin. We have a court order Joe I love it when you talk dirty Sammy Bless you, Joseph Joe That you, Sammy? Sammy How do you like my harem? Joe How come you get such lousy breaks? Sammy One learns to grin and bear 'em Girls This is the biggest film ever made Joe What're you planning? Anita Temple Virgin Dawn Handmaiden to Delilah JoeLet's have lunch, gotta run You've got to find me a job, I'm way behind with my payments I thought you were meant to be my agent, I need some work Morino I only wish I could help, this town is dead at the moment There's been this slowdown in production.... Joe Who is this jerk? Morino He's my wunderkind from Broadway, Every major studio wants him Young Man Playing one against the other.... Joe What I need is three hundred bucks Morino Maybe what you need is a new agent Joe Hello, Artie Artie Joe, you bastard! Joe You never call me anymore Artie Found a cuter dancing partner How are things? Joe Not so great Artie Will this help? Twenty bucks? Joe Thanks! you're a pal! All Good morning, Mr. De Mille Myron Good morning Sheldrake This is Sheldrake, bring some water, Get me that shithead Nolan Nolan, sweetheart, great to talk, this draft is so much brighter You're the best, even so, I've hired another writer Secretary Mr.Gilis Sheldrake Joe! What the fuck bring you here! Joe You wanted to see me Sheldrake I did? What about? Joe "Based Loaded" It's an outline for a baseball picture Sheldrake So, pitch Joe It's about a rookie shortstop. He's batting .347The kid was once mixed up in a holdup. Now he's trying to go straight Sheldrake Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I have read this Somebody, bring in whatever we've got on.... Joe "Based Loaded" Sheldrake ......"Based Loaded" Joe They're pretty hot for it over at Twentieth Sheldrake Good Joe But can you see Ty Power as a shortstop? Ensemble Let's have lunch Betty Here's that "Based Loaded" material, Mr. Sheldrake. I made a two-page synopsis for you, but I wouldn't bother to read it .Sheldrake Why not? Betty It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with Sheldrake Meet Mr. Gillis, he wrote it Ensemble We should talk Sheldrake This is Miss Kramer Betty Schaefer, Betty Schaefer. And right now, I'd like to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me Joe If I could be of any help... BettyI'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, I couldn't see the point of it Joe What sort of material do you suggest? James Joyce? Dostoyevsky? Betty I think pictures should at least try to say a little something Joe I see you're one of the message kids. I expect you'll have turned down "Gone with the wind" Sheldrake No, that was me Ensemble Gotta run Betty And I guess I was disappointed. I've read some of your other works And I thought you had some real talent Joe Yeah, that was last year. This year I felt like eating. Betty Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis Sheldrake Thank you, Miss Kramer. Well, looks like Zanuck's got himself a baseball picture. Ensemble We should talk, gotta run, let's have lunch Joe You've got to give me some work, I'll take whatever's on offer. There must be some shit that needs a rewrite, throw it my way Sheldrake I only wish I could help, there's no spare shit at the moment. Remember the greatest writers starved in Garrets, didn't care about pay Joe Are you trying to be funny? Sheldrake I believe in self-denial, give a man some moral backbone. Joe Can you loan me three hundred bucks? Sheldrake I'm sorry, Gillis, Good-bye Joe I just love Hollywood! Myron Morning, Joanna Cliff Where've you been hiding? Sammy Hi there, Lisa Myron How're you doing? Katherine I hate this weather Cliff You look great Liz RKO are O.K. Mary What are you doing? Joanna You look great Girls This is the biggest film ever made Cliff I'm trying to make my mind up Mary Guess I was born to play her Dawn What is my motivation? Joanna You look great Sammy They're taling nominations Liz You should go work for Warners' Myron Is your new script with Sheldrake? Morino I'm very close to Sheldrake Artie We shoot next month Sammy & others Gotta run John Let's drive to Vegas this weekend Joanna Let's have lunch Anita You look great Joanna I'm handling in my second draft Mary It's between me and Dietrich Katherine I've landed a big broadway show Adam I'm gonna work for Metro Cliff Let's have lunch Mary Let's have lunch Girls Let's have lunch, this is the biggest film ever made Myron I'd really love to read it Cliff I'd know just how to light you John Let's have lunch John/Lisa It won't work Morino Let's pencil Thursday morning Group 1 We should talk Group 2 Gotta run Chorus Let's have lunch Hi! Good morning, aren't we lucky? Going to work with Cukor Paramount is paradise, movies from A to Zukor We should talk, gotta run Group 1 Let's have lunch Group 2 We should talk Group 1 Gotta run Group 2 Gotta run All Let's have lunch Joe Come to get your knife back? It's still there, right between my shoulder blades. 3-Every Movie's a Circus Betty I read one of your stories, wasn't it Scribner's, some magazines. Title-something with windows Joe It was 'Blind Windows' if that what you mean Betty That's right, I really liked it Joe I'm all warm and runny inside Betty Let me pitch it to Sheldrake Joe I may be broke but I still have my pride Betty Come on, get off your high horse, Writers with pride don't live in L.A. Silence, exile and cunning, those are the only cards you can play Joe Sheldrake won't buy this story, he likes trash with fairy lights. Jesus, think of the effort trying to get him to heighten his sights. Betty Every movie's a circus, can't we discuss this Schwab's Thursday night? Joe What for? Nothing will happen, I gotta go now, fight the good fight, Betty What's the rush? Joe See those Gorillas? Betty Yes, what about them? Joe Do me a terrific favor, keep them amused while I escape Betty If you're at Schwab's on Thursday Joe Done, look, those guys are after my car, If I lose that in this town, it's like having my legs cut off Betty Let's duck into the soundstage 1st Fin Hey, come on Gillis, give us the keys Betty Shhh! Please be quiet, Mr. De Mille is shooting right over there 1st Fin. So what? Betty He's working on 'Samson and Delilah'. They're doing a red-hot scene with Hedy Lamarr. You want to stay and watch? 1st Fin.No 2nd Fin. Relax, we got five minutes Both Fin. Men Hey, hey, come back here... Joe What a lovely sight! At the end of the driveway: A great big empty garage. This thing must burn up 10 gallons to a mile. 4-At the House on Sunset Joe Christ, where am I? I had landed in a garden of some palazzo Like an abandoned movie set. Voice You there! Why are you so late? Max This way. Joe Hey look, buddy, I just pulled my car.... Max And wipe your feet! Voice Max! Tell him to wait! Max You heard. If you need my help with the coffin, call me. Joe Hey, wait a minute....Hey, buddy... Norma Any law against burying him in the garden? Joe I wouldn't know. Norma I don't care anyway. 5-Surrender Norma No more wars to fight White flags fly tonight You are out of danger now Battlefield is still Wild poppies on the hill Peace can only come when you surrender Here the tracers fly Lighting up the sky But I'll fight on to the end Let them send their armies I will never bend I won't see you now 'till I surrender I'll see you again when I surrender Now don't you give me a fancy price just because I'm rich. Joe Look, lady, you've got the wrong man. I have some trouble with my car, I just pulled into your driveway. Norma Get out. Joe O.K. I'm sorry you lost your friend. Norma Get out of here. Joe Haven't I seen you somewhere before? Norma Or shall I call my servant? Joe Aren't you Norma Desmond? You used to be in pictures. You used to be big. Norma I am big. It's the pictures that got smal. Once upon a time not long ago, The head of any studio knew how and when to play his aces. Now they put some talentless unknown beneath their sacred microphone. We didn't need words, we had faces. Yes, they took all the idols and smashed them. The Fairbanks, the Gilberts, the Valentinos. They trampled on what was divine They threw away the gold of silence. When all they needed was this face of mine. Joe Hey! Don't blame me, I'm just a writer. 6-With One Look Norma With on look I can break your heart With one look I play every part I can make your sad heart sing With one look you will know All you need to know With one smile I'm the girl next door Or the love that you've hungered for When I speak it's with my soul I can play any role No words can tell the stories my eyes tell Watch me when I frown You can't write that down You know I'm rightIt's there in black and white When I look your way You'll hear what I say Yes, with one look I put words to shame Just one look sets the screen aflame Silent music starts to play One tear in my eye make the whole world cry. With one look they will forgive the past They'll rejoice: I've returned at last To my people in the dark Still out there in the dark.... Silent music starts to play With one look you'll know all you need to know. With one look I'll ignite a blaze I'll return to my glory days They'll say Norma's back at last This time I am staying I'm staying for good I'll be back where I was born to be With one look I'll be me. 7- Salome Norma Now go. Joe Next time I'll bring my autograph album. Norma Just a minute, you. Did you say you were a writer? Joe That's what it says on my guild card. Norma And you've written pictures? Joe Sure have. Would you like to see my credits? Norma Come over here, I want to ask you something. Just what sort of length is a movie script these days? Joe Depends. Norma I wrote this, it's a very important picture. Joe Looks like six very important pictures. Norma It's for De Mille to direct. Joe Oh, yeah? And will you be in it? Norma Of course. What do you think? Joe Just asking. I didn't know you were planning a come back. Norma I hate the word. It's a return. Joe Well...fair enough. Norma I want you to read it. Joe You shouldn't let another writer read your stuff. He may steal it. Norma I am not afraid. Sit down. Max! Bring something to drink. Max Yes, Madame. Norma I said sit down! It's about Salome. Salome: the story of a woman. The woman who was all women. Salome, what a woman, what a part! Innocent body and a sinful heart, Inflaming Herods' lust, But secretly loving a holy man. No one could play her like I can. Joe Well, I have nothing urgent coming up, I thought I might as well skim it. It's fun to see how bad bad writing can be, This promised to go to the limit. Norma There's so many great scenes. I can't wait. A boiling cauldron of love and hate. She toys with Herod 'Till he putty in her hands He reels tormented through the desert sand. Joe It sure was a real cheery set-up The wind wheezing through that organ Max shuffling around and a dead ape dumped on a shelf And her staring like a gorgon. Norma They drag the Baptist up from the jails. She dances the dance of the seven veils. Herod says: I'll give you anything. Joe Now it was time for some comedy relief The guy with the baby casket. Must have seen a thing or two, that chimp, Shame it was too late to ask it. Norma Have you got to the scene where she asks for his head? If she can't have him living, she'll take him dead. They bring in his head on a silver tray. She kisses his mouth, it's a great screenplay! Joe It got to be eleven, I was feeling ill, What the hell was I doing? Melodrama and sweet champagne And a garbled plot from a scrambled brain; But I had my own plot brewing. Just how old is Salome? Norma Sixteen. Joe I see. Norma Well? Joe It's fascinating. Norma Of course it is. Joe Could be it's a little long Maybe the opening's wrong But it's extremely good for the beginner. Norma No, it's a perfect start, I wrote that with my heart The river-bank, the Baptist and the sinner. Joe Shouldn't there be some dialogues? Norma I can say anything I want with my eyes. Joe It could use a few cuts. Norma I will not have it butchered! Joe I'm not talking limb from limb, I just mean a little trim All you need is someone who can edit. Norma I want someone with a knack Not just any studio hack And don't think for a moment I'd share credit! When were you born? Joe December twenty-first, why? Norma I like Sagittarians. You can trust them. Joe Thanks. Norma I want you to do this work. Joe Me? Gee, I don't know, I'm busy. I just finished one script and I'm about to start a new assignment. Norma I don't care. Joe I'm pretty expensive. I get five hundred a week. Norma Don't you worry about money. I'll make it worth your while. Joe Well. It's getting kind of late. Norma Are you married, Mr...? Joe The name is Gillis. Single. Norma Where do you live? Joe Hollywood. Alto Nido Apartment .Norma You'll stay here. Joe I'll come back early tomorrow. Norma Nonsense. there's a room over the garage. Max will take you there. Max! Max Yes, Madame. Norma Take Mr. Gillis to the guest room. We'll begin at nine sharp. Joe Now this is more like it Max I made up the bed this afternoon. Joe Thanks. How did you know I was going to stay? Max There's a soap and a toothbrush in the bathroom. Joe She's quite a character, isn't she, that Norma Desmond? 8- The Greatest Star of All Max Once, you won't remember, if you said Hollywood, Here was the face you'd think of, Her face on every billboard, In just a single week she'd get ten thousand letters. Men would offer fortune for a bloom from her corsage Or a few strands of her hair. Today she's half-forgotten, But it's the pictures that got small She is the greatest star of all. Then, you can't imagine, How fans would sacrifice themselves to touch her shadow. There was a Maharajah who hanged himself with one of her discarded stockings. She's immortal caught inside that flickering light beam Is the youth which cannot fade. Madame's a living legend; I've seen so many idols fall She is the greatest star of all. Joe (V.O.)When he'd gone, I stood looking out the window for a while. There was the ghost of a tennis court with faded marking and a sagging net. There was an empty pool where Clara Bow and Fatty Arbuckle must have swum 10,000 midnights ago. And then there was something else; The chimp's last rites, as if she were laying a child to rest. Was her life really as empty as that? 9- Every Movie's a Circus (Reprise) All Every movie's a circus on the wire without a net Joanna Coffee? Myron I'm up too early, shooting at seven, I gotta go All Movies Boy What's wrong? Mary Can't get a screen test, Don't you hate it when a yes-man says no? All Movies Girl Good part? Boy I'm a policeman "Hang up, punk" that's all I say Actor First time, you work on the lot there Actress I must say R.K.O are O.K. All Movies. Boy Then what? Girl He pressed a button, out of the wall fell a four-poster bed. All Movies, Myron Busy? Joanna They shot my screenplay Myron Isn't that great? Joanna No, they shot the thing dead. All Every movie's a circus on the wire without a net. Boy Lonely? Girl That's how I like it. Boy Can't you be nice? Girl Why? We're not on the set. All Movies Artie Hey, Joe, what are you, slumming? Joe Here for a meeting Artie This time of night? All Movies Joe Yeah, it's some studio smartass, You know I'm famous for being polite. All Movies Artie Guess what? I'm getting married. Joe Congratulations Artie She'll be right back. All Movies Artie Fact is we were just leaving She's been stood up by some uppity hack. All Movies Joe Married, who would have thought it? Why don't you look happy? Come on, be brave. All Movies Artie It's this movie I'm shooting. Joe You first assistant? Artie More like a slave. All Every movie's a circus. Artie But this is a circus movie as well Problems, nothing but problems. Animals, actors, two kinds of hell. All Every movie's a circus on the wire without a net. Betty Well, hello, Mr. Gillis. Artie You two have met? Joe I'm the uppity hack. Artie And she's the studio smartass. Betty What's going on here? Barman Artie, they're calling you back. Betty I just reread "Blind Windows" It needs some real re-working, of course. If we fixed up the opening Artie Call up the wrangler, pay off the horse. 10-Girl meets Boy Joe Girl meets boy, that's a safe beginning Betty It's nearly closing, I thought you weren't going to show. Joe So did I, I felt it might be kinder Betty What are you saying? Joe Come on, Miss Schaeffer, you know. Betty What? Joe Every time I see some young kid Dreaming they'll produce a masterpiece I just want to throw them on the next train home. Betty Never thought you'd be so condescending, Joe Sorry, Miss Schaeffer, I don't come here to fight. Betty Girl meets boy, if that's how you want it. She's a young teacher, he's a reporter. It's hate at first sight. Joe It won't sell, these days they want glamour; Fabulous hairess meets handsome hollywood heel The problem is, she thiks he's a burglar. Would yo believe it? A wedding in the last reel. Betty It doesn't have to be so mindless. You should write from your experience Give us something really moving; something true. Joe Who wants true? Who the hell wants moving? Moving means starving And true means holes in your shoe. Betty No, you're wrong. They still make good pictures. Stick to your story, it's a good story. Joe O.K. Miss Schaeffer; I give it to you. Betty What do you mean? Joe It's what I said. I've given up writing myself. So you write it. Betty Oh, I'm not good enough to do it on my own. But I thought we could write it together. Joe I can't, I'm all tied up. Betty Couldn't we work evening? Six o'clock in the morning? I'd come to your place. Joe Look, Betty, it can't be done, it's out. Let's keep in touch through Artie. That way if you get stuck, we can at least talk. Write this down, I'll give you some ground rules. Plenty of conflict but nice guy don't break the law. Girl meets boy, she give herself completely And though she loves him Joe/Betty She keep