Little Shop of Horrors

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Meek, nebbish Seymour Krelbourn, stuck in a dead-end job as a florist’s assistant in a less-than-successful flower shop on Skid Row, has his life turned around when he comes across an unusual tiny plant in the wholesale flower district, after an equally-unusual total eclipse of the sun. Naming the plant “Audrey II” after the salesgirl who is his secret love, Seymour attempts to grow the plant, to no avail... until he discovers the essential element of its diet: blood. As the plant thrives, bringing Seymour the attention, fame and fortune he craves, the two strike a Faustian deal: Audrey II agrees to attract publicity if Seymour continues feeding its growing appetite. Seymour, his boss Mushnik, Audrey and her abusive dentist boyfriend are eventually swept into the plant’s evil machinations as its true motives become clear.

Opened 7/27/82 and ran for 2209 performances.

Version: Original Off-Broadway (1982)

Credits: Book by Howard Ashman

Music by Alan Menken

Lyrics by Howard Ashman

Based on the film by Roger Corman; Screenplay by Charles Griffith

Type: Book Show

Acts: Two

Rating: PG

Cast Size: Small (2-10)

Orchestra Size: Small (1-11)

Chorus Required: may be added

Dancing Required: Yes, but minimal/optional

Difficulty: Easy to learn

Easy to sing

Style: Pop/Rock

Contemporary

Blues/Jazz/Gospel

Category: Comedy

Nostalgia

Mystery/Thriller

Satire

Ideal For: Colleges

Community Theatres

Intimate Spaces

Middle Schools

Low Budgets

High Schools

Cast Size: Small (2-10)

5 Men & 4 Women

Casting Notes: Includes older role(s)

Star vehicle - female

Star vehicle - male

A puppeteer needed for Audrey II

Ethnic roles

Characters: Seymour, mid-twenties and perhaps balding a little. Our insecure, naive, put-upon, florist’s clerk hero. Above all, he’s a sweet and well-meaning little man. (low A to high G)drey, the bleached-blond, Billie-Dawn-like, secret love of his life. If you took Judy Holiday, Carol Channing, Mailyn Monroe and Goldie Hawn, removed their education and feelings of self-worth, dressed them in spiked heels and a low-cut black dress, and then shook them up in a test tube to extract what’s sweetest and most vulnerable — that’d be Audrey. (low A to high D) Mr. Mushnik — Their boss. A failure of an East Side florist. His accent, if he has one, is more that of middle class New York than of Eastern Europe. He seldom smiles but often sweats. (low G to high E-flat) Orin — A tall, dark, handsome dentist with a black leather jacket and sadistic tendencies. He is NOT, however, a leftover from the movie version of GREASE. Think instead of an egotistical pretty-boy — all got up like a greaser but thinking like an insurance salesman and talking like a radio announcer. (The actor who plays him also plays A Voice not unlike God’s, Wino #2, Customer, Radio Announcer, Mr. Bernstein, Mrs. Luce, Skip Snip and Patrick Martin.) (low C to high G) The Plant (Audrey Two) — An anthropomorphic cross between a Venus flytrap and an avocado. It has a huge, nasty-looking pod which gains a shark-like aspect when open and snapping at food. The creature is played by a series of four increasing large puppets, manipulated by one Puppeteer. (Who also plays Wino #1 in the first scene.) The first time we see The Plant, it is less than one foot tall. The last time we see it, it fills the entire stage. Voice Of The Plant — Provided by an actor on an offstage microphone. It is important that this actor have clear visual access to the puppets onstage, so that he can provide accurate lip-synch. The sound is a cross between Otis Redding, Barry White, and Wolfman Jack. Think of The Voice as that of a street-smart, funky, conniving villain — Rhythm and Blues’ answer to Richard the Third. (low B-flat to high G) Crystal, Ronnette and Chiffon — Three black female street urchins who function as participants in the action and a Greek Chorus outside it. They’re young, hip, smart and the only people in the whole cast who REALLY know what’s going on. In their “Greek Chorus” capacity, they occasionally sing to the audience directly. And when they do, it’s often with a “secret-smile” that says: “we know something you don’t know.”

Special Requirements: The Plant (Audrey Two), who is portrayed by a series of four puppets of increasing size.

Prologue (Little Shop of Horrors)

On the twenty-third day of the month of September in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.

Little shop, little shoppa horrors.

Little shop, little shoppa terror.

Call a cop. Little shoppa horrors.

No, oh, oh, no-oh!

Little shop, little shoppa horrors.

Bop sh'bop, little shoppa terror.

Watch 'em drop. Little shoppa horrors.

No, oh, oh, no-oh!

Shing-a-ling, what a creepy thing to be happening!

(Look out, look out, look out, look out!)

Shang-a-lang, feel the sturm and drang in the air.

(Yeah, yeah, yeah.)

Sha-la-la, stop right where you are. Don't you move a thing.

You better, you better, tellin' you you better

tell your mama somethin's gonna get her.

She better, ev'rybody better beware.

Oh, here it comes, baby. Tell no bums, baby. Oh, no, no.

Oh, hit the dirt, baby. Hit the dirt, baby. Oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh-oh, oh.

Alley Oop, haul it off the stoop. Child, I'm warnin' you.

(Look out, look out, look out, look out.)

Run away. Child, you gotta pay if you play. (Yeah, yeah, yeah.)

Look around. Somethin's comin' down, down the street for you.

(You betcha) You betcha, you bet your butt you betcha.

Best believe it, somethin's come ta getcha.

You betcha, you better watch your back and your tail.

(Comma comma comma.)

Little shop, little shoppa horrors.

Bop sh-bop, you'll never stop the terror.

Little shop, little shoppa horrors.

No, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no!

Skid Row (Downtown)

Alarm goes off at seven and you start uptown.

You put in your eight hours for the powers that have always been.

(Sing it, child.) Till it's five P.M.

Then you go downtown where the folks are broke.

You go down downtown where your life's a joke.

You go downtown, where you buy your token you go

home to skid row. (Home to skid row.)

Yes, you go downtown where the cabs don't stop.

Downtown where the food is slop.

Downtown, where the hopheads flop in the snow.

Down on skid row.

Uptown you cater to a million jerks.

Uptown you're messengers and mailroom clerks

eating all your lunches at the hot dog carts.

The bosses take your money and they break your hearts.

And uptown you cater to a million whores.

You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors.

The job's are really menial. You'll make no bread.

And then at five o'clock you'll head (by subway) . . .

Downtown where the guys are drips.

Downtown where they rip your slips.

Downtown where relationships are no go.

Down on skid row. (Down on skid row).

Down on skid row.

Poor, all my life I've always been poor.

I keep asking God what I'm for,

and he tells me "Gee, I'm not sure.

Sweep that floor, kid."

Oh, I started life as an orphan, a child of the street here on skid row.

He took me in, gave me shelter, a bed, crust of bread and a job.

Treats me like dirt. Calls me a slob, which I am.

So I live downtown. That's your home address.

You live downtown when your life's a mess.

You live downtown where depressions' jes' status quo.

Down on skid row.

Someone show me a way to get outa here,

'cause I constantly pray I'll get outa here.

Please, won't somebody say I'll get outa here.

Someone gimme my shot or I'll rot here.

Show me how and I will, (Downtown, there's no rules for us.)

I'll get outa here.

I'll start climbin' uphill (Downtown, 'cause it's dangerous.)

and get outa here.

Someone tell me I still (Downtown where the rainbow's just a no show.)

could get outa here.

Someone tell lady luck (------------When you live)

that I'm stuck here.

Gee, it sure would be swell (downtown where the sun don't shine.)

to get outa here,

bid the gutter farewell (Downtown past the bottom line.)

and get outa here.

I'd move heaven and hell (Downtown. Go ask any wino. He'll know.)

to get outa skid,

I'd do I dunno what (Downtown.)

to get outa skid,

but a hell of a lot (Downtown.)

to get outa skid,

people tell me there's not (Downtown.---------Skid row.)

a way outa skid,

but believe me, I've gotta

get outa skid row.

Da-Doo

Da-doo,

(spoken)I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day,

shoop da-doo,

and I passed by this place where this old Chinese man,

chang da-doo,

he sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings,

snip da-doo,

'cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.

da da da da da da-doo.

He didn't have anything unusual there that day.

Nope, da-doo,

so I was just about to, ya know, walk on by,

good for you,

when suddenly,

good for you.

and without warning, there was this total eclipse of the sun.

It got very dark and there was this strange humming sound like something from another world.

Da-doo,

And when the light came back this weird plant was just sitting there,

whoop-see-doo

just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.

Audrey Two.

I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before,

but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways,

for a dollar ninety-five.

Sha la la, la la la, la la la loo.

Grow for Me

(Doo, sha la la loo, whop whop.

Doo, sha la la loo, whop whop.

Doo-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.)

I've given you sunshine. I've given you dirt.

You've given me nothin' but heartache and hurt.

I'm beggin' you sweetly. I'm down on my knees.

Oh, please, grow for me!

I've given you plant food and water to sip.

I've given you potash. You've given me zip.

Oh God, how I mist you! Oh pod, how you tease!

Now, please, grow for me!

I've given you southern exposure to get you to thrive.

I've pinched you back hard like I'm s'posed ta. You're barely alive.

I've tried you at levels of moisture from desert to mud.

I've given you growlights and mineral supplements.

What do you want from me? Blood?

I've given you sunlight. I've given you rain.

Looks like you're not happy 'less I open a vein.

I'll give you a few drops if that'll appease.

Now please, oh-oh-oh please, grow for me!

Somewhere That's Green

I know Seymour's the greatest, but I'm dating a semi-sadist.

So I got a black eye, and my arm's in a cast.

Still, that Seymour's a cutie. Well, if not, he's got inner beauty.

And I dream of a place where we could be together at last.

A matchbox of our own, a fence of real chain link,

a grill out on the patio, disposal in the sink,

a washer and a dryer and an ironing machine

in a tract house that we share somewhere that's green.

He rakes and trims the grass. He loves to mow and weed.

I cook like Betty Crocker and I look like Donna Reed.

There's plastic on the furniture to keep it neat and clean

in the Pine-Sol-scented air somewhere that's green.

Between our frozen dinner and our bedtime, nine fifteen,

we snuggle watchin' Lucy on our big, enormous twelve-inch screen.

I'm his December Bride. He's Father, he Knows Best.

The kids play Howdy Doody as the sun sets in the west.

A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

Far from Skid Row,

I dream we'll go

somewhere that's green.

Some Fun Now

Yah yah yah yah, yah yah yah,

Yah yah yah yah, yah yah yah.

Poor Seymour pushed a broom, nothing in his news but

gloom and doom. Then he lit a fuse and

give him room. He started an explosion,

holy cow, that thing which

bang ka-boom, and he's havin' some fun now.

Some fun now (what with?),

what's he havin' some fun now (sure is).

He's a-havin' some fun now (oh boy),

ain't he havin' some fun now,

now! Some fun now! (hot damn),

ain't he havin' some fun now (yes, ma'am).

He's a-havin' some fun now (oh boy),

ain't he havin' some fun now!

Some fun now (hot damn),

ain't he havin' some fun now (yes, ma'am).

He's a-havin' some fun now (oh boy),

ain't he havin' some fun now, now!

Some fun now (what with?),

ain't he havin' some fun now (sure is).

Really havin' some fun now (oh boy),

ain't he havin' some fun now, now!

Some fun now (Good God, the boy.)

he's havin' some fun now. (Oh boy, oh boy.)

Yes, he's havin' some fun now (oh boy),

ain't he havin' some fun now!

Some fun now. Some fun now.

[Repeat and fade]

Dentist!

When I was younger, just a bad little kid,

my mama noticed funny things I did,

like shootin' puppies with a B B gun.

I'd poison guppies, and when I was done

I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head.

That's when my mama said (What did she say?),

she said, "My boy, I think someday

you'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay.

You'll be a dentist. You have a talent for causin' things pain.

Son, be a dentist. People will pay you to be inhumane.

Your temp'rament's wrong for the priesthood

and teaching would suit you still less.

Son, be a dentist. You'll be a success.

(Here he is, folks: the leader of the plaque!

Watch him suck up that gas! Oh, my god!

He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good.

Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?

Oh that hurts! I'm not numb!)

Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come!

I am your dentist (goodness gracious!),

and I enjoy the career that I picked. (Love it.)

I am your dentist (fitting braces),

and I get off on the pain I inflict. (Really love it.)

I thrill when I drill a bicuspid.

It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted.

And though it may cause my patients distress,

somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me

I know, I know, that my mama's proud of me (Oh, mama.)

'cause I'm a dentist and a success.

Say ah! (Ah!) Say ah! (Ah!) Say ah! (Ah!) Now spit.

Feed Me (Git It)

Feed me. Feed me. Feed me.

Feed me, Seymour. Feed me all night long.

(That's right, boy! You can do it!)

Feed me, Seymour. Feed me all night long. (Ha, ha, ha, ha ha.)

'Cause if you feed me, Seymour, I can grow up big and strong.

Would you like a Cadillac car?

Or a guest shot on Jack Paar?

How about a date with Hedy Lamarr?

You gonna git it. (If you want it, baby.)

How would you like to be a big wheel,

dinin' out for every meal?

I'm the plant to make it all real.

You gonna git it.

Hey, I'm your genie, I'm your friend. I'm your willing slave.

Take a chance. Feed me, eh? You know what kinda eats,

what kinda red hot treats, what kinda sticky licky sweets I crave.

Come on, Seymour, don't be a putz.

Trust me and your life will surely rival King Tut's.

Show a little initiative, boy. Work up some guts

and you'll git it.

(I don't know. I don't know.

I have so, so many strong reservations.

Should I go and perform mutilations?)

Think about a room at the Ritz,

wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz.

A little nookie gonna clean up those zits

and you'll git it.

(Gee, I'd like a Harley machine,

toolin' around like I was James Dean,

makin' all the guys on the corner turn green.)

So go git it.

If you want to be profound, if you really got to justify,

take a whiff and look around. A lot of folks deserve to die.

Stupid woman. Christ, what a friggin' scatterbrain.

I'm sorry, doctor.

Falls off the motorcycle.

If you want a rationale, it isn't very hard to see, no, no, no.

Stop and think it over, pal. The guy sure looks like plant foot to me.

The guy sure looks like plant food to me.

He's so nasty, treatin' her rough,

smackin' her around and always talkin' so tough.

(You need blood and he's got more than enough.)

I need blood and he's got more than enough.

I/(You) need blood and he's got more than enough.

So go git it!

Suddenly, Seymour

Lift up your head. Wash off your mascara.

Here, take my Kleenex. Wipe that lipstick away.

Show me your face, clean as the mornin'.

I know things were bad, but now they're okay.

Suddenly Seymour is standin' beside you.

You don't need no makeup, don't have to pretend.

Suddenly Seymour is here to provide you

sweet understanding. Seymour's your friend.

Nobody ever treated me kindly.

Daddy left early. Mama was poor.

I'd meet a man and I'd follow him blindly.

He'd snap his fingers. Me, I'd say "sure."

Suddenly Seymour is standin' beside me.

He don't give me orders. He don't condescend.

Suddenly Seymour is here to provide me

sweet understanding. Seymour's my friend.

Tell me this feelin'll last till forever.

Tell me the bad times are clean washed away.

Please understand that it's still strange and fright'nin'.

For losers like I've been it's so hard to say:

Suddenly Seymour, (Suddenly Seymour,)

he purified me. (he purified you.)

Suddenly Seymour - (Suddenly Seymour)

He showed me I can (Yes, you can)

learn how to be more (learn how to be more)

the girl that's inside me. (the girl that's inside you.)

With sweet understanding, (With sweet understanding,)

with sweet understanding, (with sweet understanding,)

Seymour's my man. (Seymour's your man.)

Suppertime

He's got your number now.

He knows just what you've done.

You've got no place to hide,

you've got nowhere to run.

He knows your life of crime.

I think it's suppertime.

Come on, come on,

think about all those offers.

Come on, come on,

your future with Audrey.

Come on, come on,

ain't no time to turn squeamish.

Come on, I swear on all my spores,

when he's gone the world will be yours, yours. (Yeah, yeah, yeah.)

Come on, come on. Come on, come on.

Come on, come on. It's suppertime. It's suppertime.

Come on, come on. Come on, come on.

Come on, come on. It's suppertime.

It's suppertime. Suppertime.

[Repeat and fade]

The Meek Shall Inherit

Seymour Krelbourn, so finally we meet you.

This is an occasion. Let's toast it. Up yours.

Relax. Canape? ???? Let's talk turkey. Sign here.

and we'll book you on lecturing tours.

Be a star. And we're sending photographers Thursday.

So get the plant ready and wear a clean shirt.

Just sign this release. Need a pen? Aren't you thrilled?

It's the cover of Life magazine. Dessert?

I'm telling you son, it's a cinch to get ratings.

The title is Marvin's. The concept is mine.

The first weekly gardening show on a network

and you're gonna host it, you lucky kid, sign.

They say the meek shall inherit. You know the book doesn't lie.

It's not a question of merit. It's not demand and supply.

They say the meek gonna get it, and you a meek little guy.

You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em by and by.

My future's starting. I've got to let it.

Stick with that plant, and gee, my bank account will thrive.

What am I saying? No way! Forget it!

It's much too dangerous to keep that plant alive.

I take these offers, that means more killing.

Who knew success would come with messy, nasty strings?

I sign these contracts, that means I'm willing

to keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things.

No! No! There's only so far you can bend.

No! No! This nightmare must come to an end.

No! No! You've got no alternative, Seymour old boy.

Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed,

it's the only solution. It can't be avoided:

the veg'table must be destroyed.

But then there's Audrey, lovely Audrey.

If life were tawdry and impov'rished as before,

she might not like me, she might not want me.

Without my plant, she might not love me anymore

They say the meek shall inherit. (Where do I sign?)

You know the book doesn't lie. (Right on the line.)

It's not a question of merit. (That'll do fine.)

It's not demand and supply. (This copy's mine.)

You'll make a fortune, we swear it, (Couldn't go wrong.)

if on this fact you rely: (Bye bye. So long.)

You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em,

you know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em,

you know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em

by and by.

Mean Green Mother From Outerspace

Better wait a minute. Ya better hold the phone.

Better mind your manners. Better change your tone.

Don't you threaten me, son. Ya gotta lot of gall.

We gonna do things my way or we won't do things at all.

Ya don't know what you're messin' with. You got no idea.

You don't know what you're lookin' at when you're lookin' here.

Ya don't know what you're up against,

no, no way, no how.

You don't know what you're messin' with, but I'm gonna tell you now!

(Get this straight!)

I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad.

I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and it looks like you been had.

I'm just a mean green mother from outer space, so get off my back,'n get out my face,

'cause I'm mean and green and - I - am - bad.

Wanna save your skin, boy? You wanna save your hide?

You wanna see tomorrow? You better step aside.

Better take a tip, boy. Want some good advice?

You better take it easy, 'cause you're walkin' on thin ice.

Ya don't know what you're dealin' with. No, you never did.

Ya don't know what you're lookin' at, but that's tough titty, kid!

The lion don't sleep tonight, and if you pull his tail, he roars.

Ya say, "That ain't fair?" Ya say, "That ain't nice?"

Ya know what I say? "Up yours!"

(Watch me now!)

I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad.

I'm just a mean green mother, a real disgrace, and you've got me fightin' mad.

I'm just a mean green mother from outer space, gonna trash your ass,

gonna rock this place,

'cause I'm mean and green and - I - am - bad.

Don't you talk to me about old King Kong.

You think he's the worst, well, you're thinkin' wrong.

Don't talk to me about Frankenstein.

He got a temper, ha! He ain't got mine.

You know I don't come from no black lagoon.

I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon.

You can keep the bang, keep the it,

keep the creature, they don't mean shit.

I got one style, major moves.

I got the stuff and I think that proves

you better move it out. Nature calls.

You got the point? I'm gonna bust your balls.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. (Here it comes!)

I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad.

I'm just a mean green mother, a real hard case.

You can't beat this trouble, man.

I'm just a mean green mother from outer space,

so just beam him up. It's all over, ace.

I'm mean and green. (Mean green mother from outer space.)

(Mean green mother from outer space.)

And I - am - bad.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. (5 times)

Finale (Don't Feed the Plants)

They may offer you fortune and fame, love and money and instant acclaim.

But whatever they offer you, don't feed the plants.

They may offer you lots of cheap thrills, dates and discos in Beverly Hills.

But whatever they offer you, don't feed the plants.

Look out! Here comes Audrey Two.

Look out! Here I come for you.

(Here I come for you.)

Here I come for you.

(Here I come for you.)

Hold your hat and hang on to your soul.

Something's coming to eat the world whole.

If we fight it we've still got a chance.

But whatever they offer you,

though they're slopping the trough for you,

please, whatever they offer you, don't feed the plants.

(We'll have tomorrow.)

Don't feed the plants.