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Sweet Charity

Music by CY COLEMAN
Lyrics by DOROTHY FIELDS
Book by NEIL SIMON

1.Overture
2.You Should See Yourself
3.Big Spender
4.Charity's Soliloquy
5.Rich Man's Frug
6.If My Friends Could See Me Now
7.Too Many Tomorrows
8.There's Gotta Be Something Better Than This
9.Charity's Theme
10.I'm The Bravest Individual
11.The Rhythm Of Life
12.Baby Dream Your Dream
13.Sweet Charity
14.Where am I going?
15.I Love To Cry At Weddings
16.I'm A Brass Band
17.Finale



1.Overture
Orchestra


2.You Should See Yourself
Charity:
Man! Man, oh, man!
Tst, tst, tst!
You should see yourself like tonight
You're a hundred watt "elecatric" light.
You're a blockbuster buster you got class
And when you make a pass
Man, it's a pass!
Mad ooh sack, you're mad!
Mmm, mmm!
How those corny jokes turn me on!
And I laugh till I'm "ga, ga, ga, ga, GONE!"
When you switch to a "seducative" mood
I'm not stuck on you, lover!
I am glued...
In the college I brought up the outwit
Do I wilt, boy are you built?
You're so strong you've got muscles you don't need
Yes, yes, indeed!
Wild, dad, you're wild!
Rrrrrrrrrrrh!
You should see yourself in my eyes.
You're a Blue Ribbon Puli-i-tzer Prize...
Hey, do you know what I did today?
I went looking for furniture!
Bedroom sets, kitchen sets, bedroom sets!
Dining-room sets, "bedroom sets"...
And I got all the money from the damn payment
right here, my dowry!
Dreams I had not...
Dreams now I got!
You're old glory man, oh, yes you are!
In my flag you're the "fi-fi-fi-fifty" star
You should see yourself
And inspect yourself...
Hey, get a mirror, man!
And reflect yourself...
You should see yourself
As I see you now...


3.Big Spender
Girls:
The minute you walked in the joint,
I could see you were a man of distinction,
A real big spender,
Good looking, so refined.
Say, wouldn't you like to know
What's going on in my mind?
So, let me get right to the point,
I don't pop my cork for ev'ry guy I see.
Hey, big spender, spend...
A little time with...me...me...me!
Do you wanna have fun?
How's about (fun) a few laughs?
I can show you a...good time...
Do you wanna have fun...fun...fun?
How's about (fun) a few (fun) laughs (fun)
Laughs (fun) laughs
(I can show you a...)
(fun) laughs (fun) laughs
(good time)
Fun, laughs (good time)
Fun, laughs (good time)
Fun, laughs (good time)...shhh...
What did you say you are?
How's about a ...(laugh)
I could give you some...
Are you ready for...(fun)
How would you like a...
Let me show you a ...(good time)
Hey, big spender...
Hey, big spender...
The minute you walked in the joint,
I could see you were a man of distinction,
A real big spender.
Good looking, so refined.
Say wouldn't you like to know
What's going on in my mind?
So, let me get right to the point,
I don't pop my cork for every guy I see.
Hey, big spender,
Hey, big spender!
Hey, big spender!
Spend...a little time with ...me!
Fun...Laughs...Good Time!
Fun...Laughs...Good Time!
Fun...Laughs...Good Time!
How about a palsy?...Yeah!


4.Charity's Soliloquy
Charity:
Can I remember how this song and dance began?
Yes, I can and damn right I can!
It began, well, anyway you see there was this man
Who stopped and asked me if I knew which way
Was Lexington Avenue.
He said I'm gonna Bloomingdale's.
I said I'm gonna Bloomingdale's.
So we hoofed it over the Bloomingdale's,
He wanted to buy some jockey shorts...
Then he said: " miss, would you like a cup of tea
Or maybe some seven-up?"
I left the tea picked up the tab for the jockey's shorts
And the taxicab
He dropped me off and I burnt
Boy, let that be a lesson to ya
Lower the poem girl, lower the poem
But what can you do when he knocks on your door
Cause they locked him out of his furnished room
So...he moves in!
He moves in with his jockeys shorts and a paper bag
Nothing else!
He needs toothpaste and a tooth brush
And pajama tops
He needs razor blades , a razor and a comb,
Several!
He needs sistering and brothering and fathering and mothering
He needs a hat to hang up in my flat and call it home.
In no time at all
I find we're very much in love
And I'm blushing like a sentimental slob.
And he's kissing me and hugging me
And all the time he's bugging me to
Go out and try to find myself a better paying job.
Comes July, it's ninety-eight degrees.
He wants a coat, he wants a fur line coat
(???)
While I really didn't begrudge it
When I figured out my budget for that coat
I had to dance with something like
Eleven hundred jerks
Now comes February, ten degrees...

I need a coat
Need a coat to warm his puddle
That I bought!
So he gives me his old sweater ,
A muffler and a stretcher
That I give to him, ha ha ha!
The bronchial pneumonia that I caught.
Then I give him pocket money,
Poker money, smoking money, skating money
Poling money, movie money, haircut money,
Shoeshine money,
Money for a bill from Louis' Bar
Money for a bill from Maxi's Bar
Money for a bill from Charlie's Bar
But will he ask for subway money?
Now he wants some subway money
As he turns out
The bum wants to go to Florida!
Come on down
Now hear this and get this
Hold this and Amen
This big fat heart ain't gonna be joined apart
Ever, ever, ever again!


5.Rich Man's Frug
(Instrumental)


6.If My Friends Could See Me Now
Charity:
Tonight at eight you shoulda seen
A chauffeur pull up in a rented limousine!
My neighbors burned! They like to die!
When I tell them who is gettin' in and goin' out is I!
If they could see me now,
That little gang of mine,
I'm eating fancy chow
And drinking fancy wine.
I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact
The kind of top drawer, first rate chums I attract.
All I can say is "Wow-ee!
Looka where I am.
Tonight I landed, pow!
Right in a pot of jam.
What a set up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!
If they could see me now,
My little dusty group,
Traipsin' 'round this million dollar chicken coop.
I'd hear those thrift shop cats say:
"Brother, get her!
Draped on a bed spread made from three kinds of fur."
All I can say is, "Wow!
Wait till the riff an' raff
See just exactly how
He sign this autograph."
What a build up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!
If they could see me now
Alone with Mister V.,
Who's waiting on me like he was a maître d'
I'd hear my buddies saying:
"Crazy, what gives?
Tonight she's living like
The other half lives!"
To think the highest brow,
Which I must say is he,
Should pick the lowest brow,
Which there's no doubt is me!
What a step up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!
What a step up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it...
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now
Hi, girls it's me, Charity!


7.Too Many Tomorrows
Vittorio:
Please don't go, my love,
I'm frightened of
Too many tomorrows
Around this haunted place.
If I set you free what's left for me,
Too many tomorrows
I simply cannot face.
Those passionate words we find
To grieve each other
Do not mean we'll leave each other.
So come fill my arms
And we'll forget the meaningless sorrows
Each time we say we're through.
Darling, can't you see
There can't ever be
Too many tomorrows
If you stay with me...
So come fill my arms
And we'll forget the meaningless sorrows
Each time we say we're through.
Darling, can't you see
There can never be
Too many tomorrows
If you stay with me...


8.There's Gotta Be Something Better Than This
Girls:
There's gotta be something better than this,
There's gotta be something better to do.
And when I find me something better to do,
I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out
I'm gonna get up, get out and do it!
There's gotta be some respectable trade,
There's gotta be something easy to learn.
And if I find me something I halfwit can learn,
I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out
I'm gonna get up, get out and learn it!
All these jokers, how I hate them
With their groping, grabbing, clutching, clinching,
Strangling, handling, bumbling, pinching
There's gotta be some life cleaner than this,
There's gotta be some good reason to live.
And when I find me some kind of life I can live,
I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out,
I'm gonna get up, get out and live it!
Right!
Nickie:
I got it! I got it!
I'm gonna be a receptionist
In one of those glass office buildings
Nine to five, I'm gonna have my own typewriter,
And water cooling and office parties...
Ooooh, and coffee breaks...wow!
Then I sit on my desk on the forty-first floor
In my copy of a copy of a copy of Dior!
I'll receive VIP tycoons
And I'll point to a chair
I'll say: honey, what you're waiting?
How would you like to put it down over there?
All:
Yeah!
There's gotta be something better than this,
There's gotta be something better to do,
And when I find me something better to do.
I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out
I'm gonna get up, get out and do it!
Helene:
Me too...Me too!
I'm gonna get a year to go right to the top
I'm gonna be a hat chat girl
At one of the East Side, high class restaurants
You know, a tray of cigarettes,
Costing 66 cents a pack and keep the change?
And all those hats coming in
Dirbies, humbirds...
Ooooh! And that cute little checked number
With that skinny brim and a feather
Take your hat, sir!
Take your coat, sir!
Take your vest, sir!
Take your pants!
Take your socks, sir!
Take your shoes, sir!
I can hold them while you dance
Take your eyes, sir!
Take your ears, sir!
Take and see if you are free
How about it after hours
I'll take you and you'll take me!
Charity:
Me too...I'm gonna get out too!
Nickie:
But, baby, what would you do?
Charity:
I don't know...Just get me out of here and I'll figure out later!
There's gotta be some life cleaner than this
There's gotta be some good reason to live
All:
And when I find me some kind of life I can live
I'm gonna get up...
I'm gonna get out...
La la la la la la ...
How wow how wow
And when I find me some kind of life I can live
I'm gonna get up...
I'm gonna get up...
I'm gonna get up, get out and live it!


9.Charity's Theme
(Orchestra)
Oscar:
Sweet Charity, Sweet Charity,
Be good to me, Sweet Charity.
Mmm...Sweet Charity,
Be good to me, Sweet Charity.
Be good to me today.


10.I'm The Bravest Individual
Charity:
When I'm so jittery my knees buckle,
Ice water tickles my spine,
I 'm trapped like a butterfly in a net
Then I say to myself:
I'm the bravest individual
I have ever met.
Oscar:
I'm the bravest individual
I have ever met.
Charity:
This game makes very good sense
I get results
Oscar:
Isn't that great!
Charity:
Get back my confidence
And then even pulse seventy-eight
So when I panic and feel each day
I come to the end of the line
Then I say that fear hasn't licked me yet
I keep telling myself
I'm the bravest individual
I have ever met
Oscar:
Funny, but suddenly I can't swallow
I think I'm going to die
Sometimes, if you pardon the word, I sweat!
Charity:
Then you say to yourself,
"I'm the bravest individual
I have ever met."
Oscar:
I'm the bravest individual
I have ever met
Charity:
Good!
Oscar:
Your game makes very good sense
I get results
Charity:
Isn't that fine?
Oscar:
Got back my confidence and then
Even pulse a hundred and nine
Charity:
So when you panic and think each day
You fail at whatever you try
Oscar:
I just say that fear hasn't licked me yet!
Charity:
And keep telling yourself
Oscar:
I'm the strongest, soundest stoical,
Daringest man, who's most heroical
I'm the bravest individual
Both:
I have ever met!


11.The Rhythm Of Life
Ensemble:
Daddy started out in San Francisco,
Tootin' on his trumpet loud and mean,
Suddenly a voice said, "Go forth Daddy,
Spread the picture on a wider screen."
And the voice said, "Brother, there's a million pigeons
Ready to be hooked on new religions.
Hit the road, Daddy, leave your common-law wife.
Spread the religion of The Rhythm Of Life."
And The Rhythm Of Life is a powerful beat,
Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet,
Rhythm in your bedroom,
Rhythm in the street,
Yes, The Rhythm Of Life is a powerful beat,
To feel The Rhythm Of Life,
To feel the powerful beat,
To feel the tingle in your fingers,
To feel the tingle in your feet,
Daddy, spread the gospel in Milwaukee,
Took his walkie talkie to Rocky Ridge,
Blew his way to Canton, then to Scranton,
Till he landed under the Manhattan Bridge.
Daddy was the new sensation, got himself a congregation,
Built up quite an operation down below.
With the pie-eyed piper blowing, while the muscatel was flowing,
All the cats were go, go, go-ing down below.
Daddy was the new sensation, got himself a congregation,
Built up quite an operation down below.
With the pie-eyed piper blowing, while the muscatel was flowing,
All the cats were go, go, go-ing down below.
Flip your wings and fly to Daddy,
Flip your wings and fly to Daddy,
Flip your wings and fly to Daddy,
Fly, fly, fly to Daddy,
Take a dive and swim to Daddy,
Take a dive and swim to Daddy,
Take a dive and swim to Daddy,
Swim, swim, swim to Daddy
Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy,
Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy,
Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy,
Crawl, crawl, crawl to Daddy,
And The Rhythm Of Life is a powerful beat,
Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet,
Rhythm in your bedroom,
Rhythm in the street,
Yes, The Rhythm Of Life is a powerful beat,
To feel The Rhythm Of Life,
To feel the powerful beat,
To feel the tingle in your fingers,
To feel the tingle in your feet,
To feel The Rhythm Of Life,
To feel the powerful beat,
To feel the tingle in your fingers,
To feel the tingle in your feet,
Flip your wings and fly to Daddy,
Take a dive and swim to Daddy,
Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy,
Daddy we got The Rhythm Of Life,
Of life, of life, of life.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Man!


12.Baby Dream Your Dream
Girls:
Baby,
Dream Your Dream.
Close your eyes and try it.
Dream of furniture;
Dream that I can buy it.
That fancy bed you prayed for,
Not only bought but paid for.
Dream we sign the lease,
Leave a small deposit;
Three and one-half rooms
With a walking closet.
We'll ask the local Jet-set
To dine on our dinette-set
Right across the street,
There's a friendly bank.
You make a friendly loan,
And the bank says: "Thank you."
Ev'ry Saturday,
We'll spend all our money.
Join the P.T.A.;
They will love you, honey.
Life will be frozen peaches and cream.
Baby, dream Your Dream.


13.Sweet Charity
Oscar:
Here was a man
With no dream and no plan,
And one lovely night I found
Sweet Charity.
You made life fun for me,
Oh, what it's done for me,
Having you around,
Sweet Charity.
Warm words
I've never said lately
Pop off the top of my head,
It's incredible.
Suddenly I'm the guy
I never dared to be,
Watch me touch the sky
Quite easily.
So, if you are free,
Sweet Charity,
Please belong to me,
Sweet, Sweet Charity,
Warm words
I've never said lately
Pop off the top of my head,
Incredible.
If by and by
You and I should be we
I could touch the sky
Quite easily.
So, if you are free,
Sweet Charity,
Please belong to me,
Sweet Charity,
Please belong to me!


14.Where am I going?
Charity:
Where am I going?
And what will I find?
What's in this grab-bag that I call my mind?
What am I doing alone on the shelf?
Ain't it a shame,
No one's to blame, but myself...
Which way is clear?
When you've lost your way year after year?
Do I keep falling in love
For just the kick of it?
Staggering through the thin and thick of it,
Hating each old and tired trick of it.
Know what I am,
I'm good and sick of it!
Where am I going?
Why do I care?
Run to the Bronx, or Washington Square,
No matter where I run I meet myself there,
Looking inside me, what do I see?
Anger and hope and doubt,
What am I all about?
And where am I going?
You tell me!
Where am I going?
Why do I care?
Run to the Bronx, or Washington Square,
No matter where I run I meet myself there,
Looking inside me, what do I see?
Anger and hope and doubt
What am I all about?
And where am I going?
You tell me!


15.I Love To Cry At Weddings
Herman:
Tomorrow when you say "I do" I'll die,
I'm almost too ashamed to tell you why...
I love to cry at weddings,
How I love to cry at weddings
I walk into a chapel and get happily hysterical,
The ushers and attendants,
The family dependants,
I see them and I start to sniff,
Have you an extra handkerchief?
And all through the service
While the bride and groom look nervous
Tears of joy are streaming down my face.
I love to cry at weddings, anybody's wedding
Any time! Anywhere! Anyplace!
Girl:
I always weep at wedding
I must sob and weep at weddings
Oh, all is sweet and sloppy
And all "promise me" and all that jazz
Girls:
The man you rest your head with
The man you share your bed with
Is married too
And so, you know, will jump up
And dress and blow
I could marry Herman
And be permanently sorry
All:
We would make a really lousy pair
Nickie:
But, Gee, I want a wedding, any kind of wedding
All:
Any time, anywhere, any place!
I love to cry at weddings
How I love to cry at weddings
I walk into a chapel and get happily hysterical
The ushers and attendants
The family dependants
I see them and I start to sniff
Have you an extra handkerchief?
And all through the service
While the bride and groom are nervous
I drink champagne and sing "Sweet Adeline"!
Ha Ha Ha!
I love to cry at weddings
Anybody's wedding
Just as long as it's not mine!
I love to cry at weddings
Anybody's wedding
Any time, anywhere, anyplace


16.I'm A Brass Band
Charity:
Someone loves me!
Someone loves me!
Someone loves me,
My heart is beating so fast.
All kinds of music is pouring out of me,
Somebody loves me at last!
Now...
I'm a brass band,
I'm a harpsichord;
I'm a clarinet!
I'm the Philadelphia Orchestra,
I'm the Modern Jazz Quartet!
I'm the band from Macy's Big Parade.
A wild Count Basie blast!
I'm the bells from Saint Peter's in Rome
I'm tissue paper on a comb...
And all kinds of music
Is pouring out of me 'cause...
Somebody loves me...at last!
Chorus:
She's a brass band,
She's a harpsichord,
She's a clarinet!
Charity:
That's me!
Chorus:
She's the Philadelphia Orchestra,
She's the Modern Jazz Quartet!
She's a brass band,
She's a harpsichord,
She's a clarinet!
She's the Philadelphia Orchestra,
She's the Modern Jazz Quartet!
She's the band from Macy's Big Parade
A wild Count Basie blast!
She's the bells from Saint Peter's in Rome
She's tissue paper on a comb...
Charity:
Somebody loves me...at last!


17.Finale
Ensemble:
If they could see me now,
That little gang of mine,
I'm eating fancy chow
And drinking fancy wine.
I'd like those stumble bums to see for a fact
The kind of top drawer, first rate chums I attract.
All I can say is "Wow-ee!
Looka where I am.
Tonight I landed, pow!
Right in a pot of jam.
What a set up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!
All I can say is "Wow-ee!
Looka where I am.
Tonight I landed, pow!
Right in a pot of jam.
What a set up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it,
If my friends could see me now!